Is this me ?

So many times in my  job, I find myself having to wear that mask of grown up indignant response to people I deal with and only because they're doing something I'm supposed to deem irresponsible and not what they should be doing or how they should be behaving.


It really makes me question what it is that I'm doing and also re-enforces my own belief that life is just  ridiculous at times. When we take on a job, we have to take on it's values, be that person who has them. For me this has always caused a problem. I don't think I should be working in an office, in a job where I have to point out to people that their attitudes are stopping them getting that all important job, so that they can contribute to the all important system and be seen as useful and obedient members of society. I care about people but I don't care about pushing them into things they don't want to do. The old excuse about draining the system through not working, has been overshadowed somewhat by the revelation that we're led by greedy selfish bastards who continue to run us all into the ground.




I can't help but wish I had the blatant and open honesty that some individuals can have in the face of overwhelming odds. It does of course mean that they are seen as idle and shy of the never ending rat race we others gleefully take part in for most of our lives until we drop dead at 65. I don't see it like that.It's pointless to expect everyone to fit into that same shape mould of I want to go to work all week and even more so to expect to get something out because you've put in. The longer we do this, the less likely that gets anyway.


The reason behind this out pouring of thought ? Today I was due to do my job with someone who disappeared from the building I work in, only for me to ring him and discover he was in the pub across the road. It was 10 o'clock in the morning I wanted to laugh and shout at the same time. The part of me that isn't the work me thought" I can't fault you" the other didn't know what to think. 


And there it was and it's been with me all day, that grudging admiration for the man, knowing his actions would bring about repercussions from those who want him to be employed but still aware that it echoes my own want sometimes to just get up, walk out and tell The World it can go  and fuck itself.